If there's one thing that bothers me in this world, it's braggers.
We all know them. "Look at my new car!" "I'm SO excited to go to Florida - have fun in the snow!" Ugh....they make my skin crawl.
Now, there is a difference between "braggers" and people who are genuinely not looking for praise. No, I don't get mad when each of my friends gets a new car! LOL.
Braggers
- Want you to be jealous of them
- Are insecure/unhappy and bragging brings them "up," similar to those who use bullying to make themselves feel better
For example, a friend of mine drove a total beater of a car for years....when she got a brand new SUV this year, I could NOT have been happier for her. She totally deserved it! And I knew when she told me about it, she wasn't bragging. She was just extremely excited and happy - and I wanted to share that with her!
I have another friend who gets new "gadgets" all of the time - iPhone, new cars every year, new expensive cameras, etc. When she tells me about these things, I know she wants me to be jealous. She is a stay at home mom, but I know she's truly unhappy with her weight and her marriage. So by bragging about these new things, she's bringing herself up. It makes her feel better.
Another example is a co-worker of mine. I've always gotten the feeling that she's "watching" my weight and my body. When she asked me if I'd lost weight a few months ago, it wasn't the "Wow - you look great!" tone. It was more like 'looking you up and down' tone. Does that make sense? I almost feel like she is competitive with me. (*For example, someone brought in cookies for MY birthday and she commented loudly that she wouldn't eat them because they were way too fattening. Then she looked at me and smiled condescendingly as I was reaching for one! Um...it's my birthday, bitch! LOL) Anyway, she had about 20 pounds to lose and has lost about 15 pounds so far.
When she came in the other day, her first comment to myself and my co-worker was, "Look at me! I couldn't wear these pants a few months ago because my ass was too fat!" Now, when I lost about 15 pounds recently - I didn't say a word to anyone about it. You didn't catch me galavanting around the office saying - "look at me! I'm 2 sizes smaller, people!" That's just not me. And I knew from past encounters with her that she simply wanted praise from us. Of course, I'm embarrassed to admit that I turned into stubborn/biotch mode and congratulated her, but went on to say something about how I'd lost weight, too. I know...what am I - five years old? I hate that braggers bring out that side of me....but they do.
How about you? Do you know braggers? How do you deal with them?
I've learned with friends (like my stay-at-home mom friend) I just comment and congratulate them, and move on. But it's harder for me to do that with strangers or people I'm not friends with (like my co-worker).
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Braggers
Posted by Holly at 5:00 AM
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11 comments:
That totally sucks. I had a coworker (i talked about her on my blog) that talked that shit all the time- she kept comparingher workouts with me, always talkinga bout her AMAYZING yoga classes, her runs, and then pester me about my workouts since i'm a trainer. she then would copy all my health food that i ate. it was kinda scary. and annoying at the same time.
Braggers annoy me a lot too. It gets me very mad when it has to do with exercise. Like oh I ran 6 miles today! It's fine to be excited about but not when you tell me all the time just because you know I can't run that far! Certain things people should keep to themselves.
I guess just try to ignore it. Or blog about it to vent!
It used to bother me a lot, especially because I was super self-conscious in so many ways. Now I almost feel bad because I feel the bragging sometimes comes from an insecure place.
We all do things that we deserve to be proud of, like losing weight, running miles, etc, but I think the people that brag about that stuff the most are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Like you, when it's my friends that are doing the bragging, I congratulate them and move on. If it's obvious there's an insecurity or something's bothering them, I try to be there for them the best I can.
Worse than braggers are people who have the new car, trip, whatever and complain that they have nothing, are poor, etc. People can be so annoying.
I hear ya and I'm with you!
I just try to ignore it and not encourage them to do it more by what I say back.
I hate that. Worse is when it's family members. I get looked up and down at every get together by one person in particular. It really sucks because my weight has fluctuated throughout the years, so that just fuels the fire. Everytime I get really anxious b/c I know the comments and gestures and looks are coming. The worst was when this family member decided one thanksgiving to say, "Hey, everyone, let's go around and share what we're thankful for. I'll start. I came in first place in my recent 5K!" Ugh. When it was my turn, I think I rolled my eyes and said, "skip."
I feel like out here in Chicago, it is all about "what people got" so I am around that all the time. So when someone brags to me, and I know they want me to be jealous, I down play it. "Oh okay." New car, whatev. Totally bitchy, but I DON'T CARE. I have so many nice things of my own.
When my friends and family get nice things, I genuinely do feel excited for them, like you said. I think that feeling is a good indicator of how you really feel about a person. We shouldn't be jealous of our friends!
Yeah, the book can be hard to read at times. But I did find some useful stuff in there so I hope you do too!
I have a friend exactly like the one you're talking about - the girl who lost weight and bragged about it. She's fat and pregnant now :) Okay, that was mean, I admit it. But I would never brag to someone's face about my weight or figure... it's a sensitive issue for a lot of people!!
Ughhh i hate people like that! I can't stand it either! Seems like this coworker of yours has more issues than she knows what to do with. Smile, nod and be thankful your not her. She's just jealous of how good you look & how well off you are! :)
I hear ya- I congratulate them and move on. A lot of the times people do stuff like that when they're insecure. You are wonderful!
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