Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You're Eating WHAT?!

Last week, my co-workers and I went out to lunch to meet up with a former co-worker. From all of my years with an ED, I really dread going out to eat with people other than my best friends or family. This is for several reasons....are they going to critique my meal? Will they think I'm eating too much or too little? Will they wonder if I'll make myself sick or restrict my eating later? It just causes a lot of anxiety, and so - sad as it is - I sometimes avoid going out to eat when I can because of this. (hello, extremely sensitive person!)

Anyway, there were 5 of us total. One co-worker in particular is very overweight, and extremely outspoken. I knew when I ordered my lunch she would have something to say, so I tried to do it quickly and quietly, hahaha. We were at Bob Evans (I love breakfast for lunch!) and I got 2 eggs and a sausage link. Okay...sure. Looking back this meal was very small, but I'm trying to be frugal here. :-) Also, I normally eat a smaller breakfast and lunch because it makes me soooo sleepy when I'm full.

Immediately when I placed my order, my co-worker laughed and said, "Sweetie, you're going to have to sit over THERE because we EAT at this table!" I was so embarrassed and flustered....what was I supposed to say? Mainly I didn't want to hurt her feelings in any way because she is overweight. On the OTHER hand, why is it any better for her to make fun of what I am eating, too?

When the food was brought out to us, I felt SO guilty for what she said that I took the toast, sausage link, and extra pancake that my other co-worker wasn't going to eat and offered to me. But THEN of course I was stuffed and felt lethargic and guilty all day. Being guilted into eating isn't very fun, either!

It's just such a gray area (I always feel weird whenever I spell grey/gray, I feel like I should spell it the other way, hahaha) because obese people shouldn't be picked on for how much they eat. But then thinner people shouldn't EITHER. Ya feel me? :-)

Have you ever been in a similar situation? How have you handled it?


Every Gym's Nightmare said...

first off- what a bitch. secondly, if i've learned anything, its that she probably made that comment because she was embarrassed to be eating in front of people, too. you said shes overweight- its a defense mechanism- she was probably feeling self conscious as well (not that that makes it right.)

secondly, i get this all the time. all my friends eat like crap so when i order things with veggies, or no butter/cheese, or opt for whole wheat everyone used to laugh and make comments and roll their eyes.

Now they are just used to it, but before i would tell them "dont come crying to me when Im 90 years old and you guys all have heart attacks at 35." that shuts em up quick.

dont appologize for taking care of yourself. just because us healthy eaters are in the minority doesnt mean we are doing anything wrong.

Kelly Turner

Erica said...

hahahahahhaha I concur with every gym's nightmare- what a bitch, who is she to say antyhing??!

Glad you made the soup again and lurved it- you rock!

kristen said...

My first reaction, like Kelly's, was that she's self-conscious about eating with people too and took the opportunity to turn the attention on you instead.

I used to get funny looks or comments about what I'd eat or how "little" I ate (because apparently anything less than two servings isn't enough!), but they've calmed down. I think a lot of those people know what the healthier choices are, they just don't want to make they make themselves feel better by picking on us.

I'm proud I'm finally able to make healthy choices and ENJOY them, I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me!

Holly said...

Kelly - you crack me up!! Will you come to lunch with us next time? Or maybe I'll just put my phone on speaker so you can hear her rude comment. Mmmm k?

I thought that, too - that her comment was about her more than me. It just stinks because she was trying to make herself better, and in turn made me feel like shit. I guess that's how bullies work, too, though. I'm going to start using your line about having heart attacks....seriously 1/2 the population here eats like crapola. :-(

Erica - hahaha, I will just call her one next time. Maybe not, but I'll say it REAL loud in my head! And I can't get enough of that soup, I could eat black beans EVERYday. :-)

Holly said...

Kristen - I's like because our country has a messed up idea of what a serving size is, we get the flack. :-) Don't get me wrong...I love to indulge and love my cookies, but on a day-to-day basis I just make healthy choices. I'm so glad you are able to make those choices and enjoy them...I'm getting there, too. That's just why I get so pissed when some chick has to ruin my moment! hahaha

Missy said...

I hate being in those kinds of situations! I always feel judged when I am eating healthy. My best friend eats like crap and tried to get me to order pizza every day and then I feel the pressure when I get a salad. It sucks to want to be healthy but have people comment and ruin it. Oh well, they will have the health problems later like Heather said.

HangryPants said...

Totally agree with Kelly. I really think she was just trying to take some of the pressure off of herself! I sucks that it made such an uncomfortable event for you. It's definitely happened to me and I've definitely been guilted into and out of eating things. Obviously this woman was watching and caring what you ate, but honestly, most people in a co-worker type relationship don't care. Just try to focus on yourself and what you want to get to enjoy yourself. That's all I try to do and sometimes it works. :D But I know it gets so annoying to hear those types of comments (and the reverse if you eat something "not diet" as it's usually referred to as).

Also, thanks for answering my question about the half marathon training. I think I have one for May so I will be playing with programs because it's my first and I need to be prepared.

Holly said...

Missy - I roommate eats HORRIBLY and always is trying to get me to eat cookies and things when I'm not hungry for them. It's like they want to fatten everyone else up or something? :-)

Heather - thanks, I think so, too. I know we're all guilty of putting our own problems onto others, but you'd think women would be more sensitive with food comments like that. Next time she says something (which I'm sure she will), I'm going to think up my response ahead of time, hahaha.

And no problem about answering your question! I'm so excited that it's your first 1/2, you are going to love it. It's VERY addicting!