The Bitch Came Back

Okay...last post on this topic and then I swear I'm done. :-)

My co-workers were going out to lunch to this pizza place today and asked me along. My friend (we'll call her "A") was going, too, which made me a bit nervous. I even contemplated backing out last minute but thought, okay...that's silly. Just go. I even read the comments from my previous post before I left. :-) And if she commented on what I got to eat (or didn't), I had a comeback for her: "I don't make fun of what you eat, so please don't make fun of what I eat." It's silly, but I'm non-confrontational by nature and sometimes have to think of comebacks ahead of time, lol.

So as we're walking out to our cars, we were talking about Girl Scout Cookies. (Ahhh...love! Come to me!) I said how much I love them, especially Thin Mints. Well of course A chimed in and said there was no way I eat them, I don't eat at all. She told our co-workers (who weren't there at our last lunch) about what I had to eat previously for lunch and was laughing with them about it. I felt my face turn red and my stomach twist in knots again. Insert my comeback line (above). :-) Her reply was, "Go ahead and make fun of what I eat...I like food!" She went on for another minute or two saying I was too skinny and someone needs to feed me.

By the time we got to the restaurant, I was done. My eyes were welling up with tears and I was texting a friend pretty much the whole time (which was rude, I realize, but I didn't want to start crying in front of all of them!) They all got pizza and I had a 1/2 grilled chicken sandwich and some chips.

Towards the end of the meal, an extra bread stick was left and A looked at me and said, "Go ahead. Eat it." (in a joking way, but almost like a dare). I just smiled and said, "But I don't eat, remember?" Again she brought up my lack of food intake as we were getting ready to leave. Though I'm extreeeeemely non-confrontational, I knew I had to say something to her about it.

On the ride back to the office (she and I rode separately), I basically said this: "I am sorry, but I'm really sensitive to the comments you made about what I eat. It's just that I used to have an eating disorder and get frustrated when people say I don't eat, because I DO. A LOT. Or at least, enough! I just prefer to eat smaller meals during the day and a bigger dinner. And I get upset when people assume I don't eat at all."

Of course she was very apologetic (especially because yours truly was crying at this point, I'm a wuss!) and said she would have never made those comments had she known. She started to talk about how she wishes she didn't like food so much, and I realized again that her comments were about her. Not me.

So...I guess I'm pretty proud of myself for coming clean and telling her how this upset me. This is very outside of my comfort zone to be upfront like this! My normal reaction would have been to be very quiet around her and steer clear of her for awhile. This, I've realized over many years of doing it, doesn't resolve anything. Although it's uncomfortable, sometimes we just have to be honest and let people know how their comments hurt us.

Besides, I love food and my body too much to let her ruin how I feel about them. :-)